Thursday, June 11, 2015

Things that 'scarred' me for life

As an adult, there is not much that frightens me. Sure the thought of Iran getting nuclear weapons scares me, or a red wine shortage, or the EPA banning Big Sex Hair Hairspray, but I do not live in "fear" of something happening. However, there are a few things from childhood that 'scarred me' and some 25 years later, my heart will still beat fast in certain situations. You would think that at pushing 30 I would have slapped some Mederma on those 'scars' and moved on....but there are some things a girl never forgets!

Daddy's 1964 Corvette

Now this one is kind of ironic seeing as how I "do cars" for a living and my dad has always had loud cars. Let me take you back to 1991-1992, I was five and full of sass......Daddy had a 1964 Corvette Stingray with side pipes.
via - not his car but it looked like this
He would 'force' me to ride in it and I would literally pitch a fit. I can remember him picking me up several times and strapping the lap belt across me and I would cry. Oh and if he had to take me to school in it....all hell would break loose. I thought that this car meant we were poor because it was old. Little did I know, it meant the total opposite. To this day, if a car cranks and it is incredibly loud, I will JUMP out of my skin!! Now if only Daddy still had this car, I would drive it all the time!

Cucumber Melon + Wahsega + Camping

In 4th grade, I decided that I wanted to go to 4-H camp at Wahsega because my friend Amanda was going too! Amanda is in my wedding :) we go wayyyyyyyy back. My mom discouraged me from going because this camp was the closest thing camping I had ever done, but I was hell bent on going! UGH. Mistake. I cried every night, it might have been the most traumatic experience I had ever had in my eight years of life. There is NO bathroom in the cabin? You mean I have SHARE a shower with someone I don't know? What do you mean there is NO air conditioning? I mean seriously, I cried every day. I BEGGED to go home!!! This was around the height of cell phones and there was one particular counselor that took pity on my and let me call my mom twice that week. Here I am 21 years later and I survived, however, before leaving for Camp Wahsega, my mom bought me pretty much the entire collection of Cucumber Melon from Bath and Body works to take with me. To this day, Cucumber Melon makes me want to gag when I smell it and it brings up the awful memories of being 'forced' to sleep in a cabin with no air conditioning......
via Buzzfeed and From the Heartland
.....which leads me to a "camping" experience some 15 years later. Let me take you back to my sophomore year of college. Some friends and I get the bright idea to go to Helen for Oktoberfest - major drinking festival with beer steins and lederhosen - during said festival hotel rooms are SO expensive! We decided that camping would be a GREAT idea! Mind you I had never been camping before so I was just as green a freshly mowed lawn to this "concept" of camping.

We arrived on Friday afternoon, Noah's Ark had passed us on the way, and the campground told us we were unable to stay because it was too flooded. So I called my Daddy, and convinced him to book us a hotel room. After getting kicked out of a bar, we retreated back to the Comfort Inn and the five of us proceeded to down a 1/2 Liter of Mr. Bostons Vodka. We kept is classy. The next day we arrived at the campground and picked out a spot that was right by the river. We set up camp, cracked some beers, and waited for the sun to go down so that we could light a fire and get ready to go to the corn maze. In between sunset and the corn maze, one of the couples we were with got in a fight. This was also the couple who brought the grill. Through an amazing sequence of events, the grill wound up in the grill and we were 'forced' to eat chips and cookies. No one was up for raw meat that night.... 

Fast forward a few hours and a case of beer, we're getting out of the truck at the corn maze, on the way over the boys start talking about Children of the Corn. Uh Yea. One of them hopped in the corn and as we were walking toward the entrance, he hopped out and scared me and in a feeble attempt to run, I fell down and scraped my knee. BAD. Due to massive alcohol consumption, my knee would not clot. Corn maze doesn't have a first aid kit. Insert paper towels and duct tape.

Are you catching on as to WHY I  never want to camp again??? 

To end this story, I woke up Sunday morning wet from the due. How might you ask? Oh... no one closed some kind of vent on top of the tent etc etc. It was the LONGEST 1.5 hour ride from Helen back to Athens. WOOF.


Now you might be thinking "LB everyone hates snakes" well....not quite like this. 
This is my childhood home. What you cannot see in this picture is the pool and the sliding doors that led in to our game room. One morning over the summer my Aunt Dawn was babysitting me and we went out to test the temperature of the water. From the game room doors to the pool is about 20 feet or so, so we left the doors open. As we turn around to head back in, we see a black snake slither in to the house. HOLY SHIT RIGHT?!?!?!?!?! We run screaming over to my grandparents house. I wouldn't go back in the house. My parents kept promising me that it wouldn't get past the basement, Mr. Tanner (our cat) would kill it, etc etc etc. Well they were right, it never did get past the basement/game room. Said snake crawled in my mom's radio and apparently when she turned it on, it electrocuted the snake. My mom still has that radio, it still works and the snake is still in there. I still have nightmares that a snake will slither into bed with me because it somehow got in the house. 

And that my friends, are just a few things that have 'scarred' me for life! Send me a case of vitamin E or Mederma because I don't know if I will ever get over these life events haha! Is there anything that has 'scarred' you for life??? 

1 comment:

  1. I love Cucumber Melon anything. But I always get a little anxious when I smell it because it reminds me of the time I was on vacation and the entire bottle spilled out in my luggage.

    - Sydney at Doe Eyed Dreams